Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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