cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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