Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Congratulations! We have a period
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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