i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You did what with his pubic hair?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize