There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
