who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
