In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
