Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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