My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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