she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
