She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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