NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
