Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
