Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
