How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
