Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
