I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I stole a fireplace last night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize