Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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