sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
