Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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