We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
