so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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