dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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