Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
