I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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