I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize