I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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