You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
