I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
