I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Randomize