Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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