There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
