So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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