after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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