She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
