Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think your dad took our porno
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
