i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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