Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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