Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize