Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
