If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
