yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
