she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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