He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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