just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
