she woke up with a sticky ear
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
