hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
