her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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