that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize