you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
