Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
