my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
