I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
