just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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