never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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