So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Less talking, more tequila
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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